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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23627728">The Improbability Of It All</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/gracie_jasper/pseuds/gracie_jasper'>gracie_jasper</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, College, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 08:34:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,090</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23627728</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/gracie_jasper/pseuds/gracie_jasper</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A short drabble pulled from a college AU fic I abandoned a long time ago. If you guys like it, please let me know and I might continue to start working on the fic again. Thank you :)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>49</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Improbability Of It All</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The knock at the door startles Ronan. He looks up from within his cocoon of blankets, contemplating whether to answer the door or just pretend to not be home, however, a thunderous pounding shakes him from his thoughts. He turns his head slowly towards the door, his body exhausted from the overwhelming nature of his current emotional state.</p><p>“Lynch open up, it's me.”</p><p>Ronan’s eyes widened and a slight scoff escapes his lips. Of course Adam would be here now.</p><p>“Ronan, please, we need to talk.” Ronan groans, rolling from his bed and to his feet. He slowly stumbles to the door, his hangover causing his head to throb. He puts his head against the cold wood and mumbles to the asshole waiting for him on the other side.</p><p>“What do you want Parrish?”</p><p>“I just want to talk.”</p><p>“What if I don’t want to talk to you?”</p><p>“Please Ro.” Ronan sighs deeply, and opens the door just a crack. He knows Adam will not give up until he hears him out, and the sooner they talk, the sooner he can go back to wallowing in self pity. When he finally sees Adam, however, his breath hitches in his throat. Parrish looks awful. He is sopping wet, his normally well kept hair strewn about in crazy directions from the wind and rain. His eyes are sunken and clouded, the normal bright blue a dull grey. The dark circles give him a corpse-like appearance, and frankly, Ronan is worried. He doesn’t want to be worried. Adam betrayed his trust and his feelings, but he can’t help it. He is too used to other people giving Adam bruises, to other people causing Adam to have dark circles, to other people letting Adam stay up too late which causes him to constantly fall asleep standing up (despite his best efforts to stay awake). Ronan never wanted to be the cause of any of Adam’s suffering or discomfort.</p><p>“You look like shit,” Ronan mutters, averting his gaze. He can’t help himself. It’s easier to wall himself off then be vulnerable. His eyes find a particularly interesting brown stain on the threadbare carpet in the hopes of looking entirely uninterested in Parrish’s existence. Adam, however, seems undeterred by Ronan’s feigned disinterest.</p><p>“Thanks Ro.”</p><p>“You’re welcome.” Ronan mumbles under his breath. “So... what do you want to talk about?” Ronan looks up from the floor and notices Adam worrying his bottom lip between his teeth and picking at the chapped skin on his knuckles. The thought briefly crosses Ronan’s mind that he wishes Adam would stop doing that; he’s going to draw blood. Ronan shakes his head, trying to clear the caring thoughts rudely clouding his mind, and returns his attention to Adam, who still seems to be trying to find the right response to settle on. Rarely is Parrish at a loss for words for so long. He usually can’t shut up (when it comes to annoying Ronan at least). After another long exhale, Adam whispers out a quiet, “Us?” more a question than an answer.</p><p>Ronan’s brain falters for a second. Turns out, this is not a conversation he is willing to have right now. He feels his icy exterior crumble as he goes to let the door slam shut, but Adam shoves his worn Converse into the entrance, the sole of the shoe puckering slightly away from the canvas due to the force.</p><p>“Ronan please.”</p><p>“I don’t want to talk about this Adam.” Ronan bites out his name like an insult, turning and stomping away from the door. His chest heaves and his shoulders ripple as he tries to compose himself. He will not cry. Especially not in front of Parrish. Especially not now. Despite the very clear message of ‘I don’t want to fucking talk to you’ Ronan thought he was sending to Adam, the other boy still pushes his way inside, carefully and quietly closing the door behind him. Underneath his anger, Ronan recognizes the small part of himself that is secretly thankful for that level of care. The walls of the dorm are thin, and the last thing he wants is to draw a crowd due to yelling and slamming doors. Though if the situation was reversed, he knows that he would never be that careful. It's just not in his nature. He is not a caring person. Adam is. Or at least he thought Adam was.</p><p>“Lynch, just hear me out,” Adam chokes out and Ronan turns on his heels, stalking forward and shoving his face toward Adam. Ronan has never had to try at being intimidating, it comes naturally. He can sense the fear radiating off of Adam, their faces only inches apart, and he watches Parrish’s adams apple bob as he swallows shakily. But much to Ronan’s surprise, Adam stands his ground; he does not waver. So Ronan takes matters into his own hands, grabbing at Adam’s shoulders and shoving him backwards towards the door.</p><p>“I don’t care what you have to say,” Ronan snarls, stalking towards Adam and slowly balling his hands into fists. He’d never actually hit Adam, not after what Parrish has been through, but god does he want to punch his stupid face right now. “Why don’t you just run back to Orla? You won’t even have to talk to her, she’ll be too busy choking on your dick-”</p><p>“<em>Ronan stop</em>,” Adam growls out. He runs his perfect fingers, which Ronan cannot help following with his eyes, through his sopping hair, shaking droplets of water about the room. Somehow, Adam’s voice gets impossibly lower as he meets Ronan’s stare, “<em>Will you just shut the fuck up for once?</em>”</p><p>Ronan’s eyes go wide, a slight but creeping fear spreading slowly throughout his body along with, unfortunately, a twinge of arousal. He has never seen Adam raise his voice, he never gets angry (at least not where others can see. Adam refused to be anything like his father). Adam’s eyes meet his and Ronan feels his right knee buckle slightly under the sheer force of the other boy’s gaze. Ronan swallows shallowly, trying to banish the confusing mix of panic and embarrassment he feels, but it catches in his throat and he almost chokes. He tries to put up a barrier of false confidence (a routine he should have perfected by now), but his emotions are beginning to betray him and Parrish has always known how to read him.</p><p>Adam sighs and steps forward, reaching out to place his hand on Ronan’s shoulder. Ronan stiffens under the weight of Adam’s palm and forces himself not to relax into the touch that he has craved for so long. “I need you to listen to me, you don’t have to forgive me, but please just hear me out,” Adam’s voice is an eerie level of calm compared to his previous burst of anger. “There is nothing going on between Orla and I.”</p><p>Ronan barks out a harsh laugh, shrugging Adam’s lovely hand from his shoulder and taking a step back, “Yeah right-“</p><p>“There. is. Nothing.” Adam interrupts, “I have no feelings for her.” Ronan feels his stomach begin to turn, bile rising up into his throat. If there is one thing Ronan Lynch hates more than anything else in the world, it’s liars.</p><p>“Is that why you had your tongue shoved down her fucking throat Friday night?”</p><p>“You don't understand, she came onto me-“</p><p>“But you could have stopped her,” the heartbreak in his own voice surprises him. Anger is an emotion he is used to displaying, but the hopelessness of his words causes him to flush. He hadn’t meant to let his emotions go that freely, but Adam was lying to him; he was blatantly lying to his face. Adam promised him he would never lie. This is why he didn’t want to talk to Parrish. He wasn’t ready. He can feel his chest starting to get tight and heat crawling up his throat. The hatred he feels toward both himself and Adam mixes cruelly with absolute despair and grief in his stomach; a dangerous concoction that will certainly lead to a breakdown.</p><p>“You could have stopped her, pushed her away, something, anything.” Ronan can feel the tears welling up in his eyes. He tries to blink them away, but it only causes them to fall faster. He feels pathetic as he watches Adam’s head drop to the floor through blurry vision, the other boy's hair falling into his eyes. Ronan feels himself laugh; a soft, strangled sound wrenching itself from the back of his throat. Adam can’t even look at him like this.</p><p>But then Adam’s lips are moving and the words are hanging softly in the air. “I’m sorry.” It comes out like a whisper, and it barely reaches Ronan’s ears.</p><p>“What?” He says through clenched teeth; grinding his molars together so hard, his jaw hurts, “You’re sorry? Do you even know what you should be sorry about?”</p><p>“I know you're mad Ro, Jesus Christ I’m mad at the whole fucking situation but we aren’t together. You and I. We aren’t a couple. We never have been. For fucks sake Ronan, you turned me down.” Adam looks like he is on the verge of hysterics, the speed and volume of his voice rising with every statement, and Ronan feels his face go red.</p><p>“I only turned you down because I thought you wanted Orla!”</p><p>“Then why would I ask you out in the first place?”</p><p>“<strong>Pity!</strong>” The word leaves Ronan’s mouth before he can process it, before his brain can warn his mouth against it. Adam’s eyes widen with what appears to be realization, or something of the like, and he takes a small step forward reaching out for the other boy, but Ronan curls in on himself. Who would ever want to love someone as broken as Ronan Lynch? Who would ever willingly choose to be with someone as fucked up as him? Ronan needs to put as much distance between him and Adam as possible. This is too much. He is too vulnerable.</p><p>“You are too good for me,” Ronan can feel himself start babbling but he can't stop, the words just keep falling from his lips and once they are out in the open, he can never put them back. ”There was no way someone like you could like someone like me, but I still hoped you know? Prayed that what I thought was pity might have actually been genuine. You know why I came to your dorm room Friday night? I was going to tell you that I changed my mind. That yes I wanted to go out with you.” Ronan was pacing around the room now, throwing his thoughts out into the air, speaking violently with his hands, and opening his heart up to the boy in front of him. After taking a deep breath, Ronan risked a glance at Adam’s eyes and to his surprise, Adam was beginning to cry.</p><p>“Ro you don't understand,” Adam says with a hiccup, trying to hold back tears, "she was just there to study, and when she heard you calling my name from down the hall and saw the door start to open, she grabbed my face and tried to kiss me. She is a jealous bitch who just wants to turn you against me because she knows how I feel about you. You didn’t give me time to explain myself. I threw her out right after you left. I never had and never will have feelings for her.”</p><p>“Why should I believe you?” Ronan whispers. Despite feeling disgustingly broken, he can’t help but inch closer and closer to Adam, inexplicably caught in the boy’s orbit. Adam looks so small right now, and despite the lingering resentment that is eating at his stomach, Ronan can't bear to see him look so damaged. Ronan stops moving when he is maybe a half a foot in front of Adam, the mere six inches between them feeling both impossibly big and imperceivably small. Adam finally looks up from the ground to look Ronan in the eyes. He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out, and he re-averts his gaze to the threadbare carpet. Ronan is willing to wait patiently, however, for Adam to find his words. Finally, after a shaky breath, words tumble quietly from Adam’s lips.</p><p>“Because I might be a little bit in love with you?”</p><p>Adam won't look up from the ground as he shuffles his feet in small circles. Ronan feels his heart stop beating and the ground fall out from under him. This can’t be real. This can’t be really happening. But despite the improbability of it all, Adam continues to speak, a small smirk spreading his lips.</p><p>“Because you are the most beautiful person I have ever seen? I want to worship you Ronan, and be worshipped by you. God, I want all of you. I want you to be mine and only mine. And all I want to do right now is run my fingers down your spine and kiss you until your lips turn blue.” Ronan might vomit, but he can’t tell if it’s from joy or fear. Maybe it’s a little but of both. Adam remains silent as Ronan attempts to muster his courage.</p><p>“Why don’t you then?” Ronan finally answers in a hushed tone.</p><p>“What?” Adam looks up, meeting Ronan’s eyes, now impossibly close to his.</p><p>“Why don’t you,” Ronan brings one of his hands up to Adam’s face, cupping his cheek gently before brushing the damp bangs off to the side. “Run your fingers,” with his other hand, Ronan grabs onto Adam’s thin wrist, bringing the boy’s hand up to his hip, “down my spine?” Ronan takes one last small step toward Adam, allowing his eyes to flit down over the other boy's plump lips as he runs his fingers across the sharp angle of Adam’s jaw. “Why don’t you kiss me until my lips turn blue?” Ronan is so close he is sure that Adam can feel warm breath on his lips as Ronan speaks. As they breathe together, Adam begins moving his hand slowly up Ronan’s back, tracing the notches of his spine with careful fingers.</p><p>“I don’t know.” Adam mumbles, finally closing the gap between them. Adam’s mouth is impossibly soft against Ronan’s chapped lips and when Adam moans into the kiss, Ronan has to stop himself and pull away to take a breath, gripping tightly to Adam’s bicep (much toner than Ronan would have thought, likely due to his work at the garage).</p><p>“Christ Adam, I think you’re going to kill me,” Ronan huffs as he threads his fingers up through Adam’s still damp locks.</p><p>“Oh god, I hope not,” Adam purrs, before leaning back in. As their lips continue to slot together, Ronan reaches around behind Adam and lightly squeezes his ass (something he has wanted to do for god knows how long). To Ronan’s absolute delight, Adam gasps and Ronan takes the opportunity to begin exploring Adam’s mouth more deeply with his tongue. Adam groans, giving as good as he is getting back to Ronan, refusing to submit at all to Ronan’s show of dominance. Ronan releases Adam’s lips and begins kissing his way down his jaw, searching for the other boy’s pulse point. When he finds it, Ronan gives it a light kiss, just to feel it flutter under the attention, before latching his lips to the spot and beginning to suck. Adam lets out a breathy moan, melting into Ronan’s arms. As Ronan leaves hickey after hickey down Adams pale neck, his hands snake underneath the other boy’s thighs and he pulls back from Adam’s neck.</p><p>“Jump,” Ronan whispers, his voice husky and low. Adam is happy to oblige, jumping and wrapping his long legs around Ronan’s middle as Ronan cradles his thighs. Adam drapes his arms around Ronans neck and begins to kiss along Ronans shoulder, tracing the few visible lines of Ronans tattoo with his tongue.</p><p>“I want to see the whole thing,” Adam whispers, gesturing towards the tattoo. Ronan is more than happy to oblige, spinning them around so that he can drop Adam back onto his bed softly. Ronan grasps at the back of his shirt, yanking the dark fabric over his head, while Adam reaches for the hem of his shirt coyly, slowly revealing the heavenly expanse of his chest to Ronan. Ronan must look absolutely gobsmacked at the sight of Adam’s body because Adam begins to giggle at his expression. Ronan can’t help letting out a soft laugh as well. He still can’t believe this is really happening. It could still end up being an incredibly elaborate and emotionally fucked dream. But Adam is here, in front of him, and Ronan has never wanted anything more in his life. So, Ronan approaches the bed slowly and crawls his way up Adams body, leaving a trail of kisses in his wake before finally reconnecting their lips.</p><p>Suddenly, the door swings open and the two boys jump back from each other, as though burned. Blue stands in the doorway smirking at the two of them, because of course she is here right fucking now. Why wouldn’t she be. But, to Ronan’s surprise, she doesn’t look even the tiniest bit shocked. Instead she lets out a sigh of relief.</p><p>“Thank fuck. I thought you two would never figure yourselves out,” she says with a slight laugh. Ronan wants to fucking scream.</p><p>“Sargent,” Ronan says, trying to keep his voice level, “please get out of my fucking room.” Blue just laughs at him.</p><p>“Ok tough boy, since you asked so nicely, I’m leaving. Just be safe you two! Use a condom!” She exits quickly, the door slamming shut behind her and Ronan collapses backwards onto the bed, curling himself into Adam’s side to hide his embarrassment. Adam lifts his arm and wraps it around Ronan’ shoulders, his fingers dancing across the tattoo.</p><p>“Damn it Gansey, why the fuck did you have to give the room key to the Maggot?” Ronan mutters to himself under his breath, pushing his flushed cheeks into Adam’s ribs. Adam lets out a light chuckle and hooks his pointer finger under Ronan’s chin, bringing them face to face</p><p>“You’re cute when you’re flustered Ro,” Adam whispers, and Ronan’s blush only grows deeper.</p><p>“God, fuck you Parrish,” Ronan says with an exasperated sigh.</p><p>“Fuck you too Lynch,” Adam says fondly, pressing a soft and lingering kiss to the other boys lips.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is my first ever post so please let me know what you think! Leave a kuddos if you enjoyed it, or a comment letting me know your thoughts. Thank you for reading &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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